She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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