Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
