dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
