you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
