Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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