I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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