I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
