just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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