Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
