And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
