I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you didnt know i had herpes?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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