What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
