I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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