I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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