I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
