Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
