glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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