That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I looked at my own cervix.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
