Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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