"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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