they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize