erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
