we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
