So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
