i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize