We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
