try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize