I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
