I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
