My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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