oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
