I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize