I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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