woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she smelled like a LAN party
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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