Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
