The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
