We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize