we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
