i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
