You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
