i was born a porn star she said
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
