It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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