Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
