i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
