apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
