Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I want her autograph on my taint
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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