it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
