I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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