It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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