I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
