I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's shark week go big or go home
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
