Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize