I've blown a few things in my day
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
