Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
