Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I party with great urgency now.
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