ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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