in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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